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The Tomb (2009)

The Tomb (2009)

Released: 2009
Genre: horror, Movie, thriller
Director: Michael Staininger
Starring: Sofya Skya, Kaitlin Doubleday, Wes Bentley,,
Run time: 89 min
IMDb: 3.8/10
Country: USA

Synopsis

Storyline:
Successful writer and scholar Jonathan Merrick falls under the spell of the irresistible, bewitchingly beautiful Ligeia. She’s fighting a fatal illness and she will stop at nothing to defeat death, her one true enemy. She steals other people’s souls and on her quest to immortality she tricks Jonathan into supporting her work, breaking him apart from his fianc√© Rowena and pulling him into her dark, mysterious world. They settle down in an old manor by the Black Sea where Ligeia’s everlasting presence slowly drives Jonathan to madness…
Written by
Michael Staininger
User Reviews: "We will never have to pay that price. We can live forever."

I don’t know why I watch movies like these. They’re clearly going to be awful. All the reviews I read further reinforced the fact that it was going to be awful. But, I still felt compelled to see it, anyway. And yep, it was awful.

The problems were myriad. The scares and horror aspect of The Tomb were surpassed by most of The Goosebumps books I read as a kid. The story was silly and bland. The attempt to appeal to the audience with sex fell flat with scenes that would hardly earn a PG-13 rating and had no chemistry between the participants.

The absolute worst things about The Tomb, though were the acting and the script. The entire cast was uniformly wretched, especially Wes Bentley and Sofya Skya. Sofya is certainly a very beautiful woman, but she would be wise to reconsider this whole "actress" thing. And Bentley came close to achieving the feat of making me never want to see another movie that he’s in, ever. As for the script, describing it as "amateur" would be an insult to everyone who has ever been an amateur at anything in the history of the world. The dialogue is abysmal, and I can’t imagine that anyone spent more than a few hours writing this.

I don’t know what kind of dire financial situations are responsible for Eric Roberts and Michael Madsen being in this dreck, but I’m willing to offer money out of my own pockets to help them never have to be in anything this terrible, again. The only possible entertainment to be gained from The Tomb is from making fun of it. It’s hilariously bad, but still too boring for me to recommend even for a laugh with your friends.